changing your mind often means you're really super smart + empathetic actually
PROCESSING THE PROCESS 002
when presented with new information (and when are we not, in this age of fooken information), i’m not afraid to change my mind. in fact, one thing about me, imma change my mind. i know i said i wanted fries on the side, but i’ll take rice instead- type beat.
i change my mind so much in a day, it’s hard to keep up. i used to think this made me fickle, but no. that’s not it. i’m not afraid of receiving new information, outside of my perspective or my way of relating to the world. so i’m allowed to change my fooken mind !!
we all have our echo chambers —especially online, it’s true.
i’m not fickle for changing my mind in an era where information overload is a very serious thing that we all have to deal with. i can’t open any app without immediately seeing at least 5 other faces and opinions that usually have nothing to do with what i’ve opened the app to do/search for. i’m pretty sure the rise of minimalist culture is a direct result of information overload and the decision fatigue that comes with having too many options and choices.
my ability to change my mind in such a social order is a testament to my ability to adapt. it’s not me being fickle or fake or having poor decision-making skills. there’s simply too many decisions to make!
some people might disagree. might say my changing my mind so frequently means i don’t have strong values or opinions of my own.
that would be a sound observation depending on the context, but incorrect and inapplicable to me.
i have a very good understanding of what my values are, and make an effortful commitment to the things i care about. and yet, living in the body i have with the politics that govern my psyche, the way i experience the world and the way the world experiences/treats me often meets at a tension point.
it is normal to be full of contradictions, but that’s apparently indecisive-weirdo behavior in a society where social platforms are now marketing agencies with ads embedded into every scroll and tap. being asked to niche down is quite literally brain-chemistry-altering for someone like me.
this phenomenon, which i recently learned is a well-documented philosophical concept called “simulacra”1 makes it hard to want to be perceived. despite desiring perception, validation, kinship, etc etc.
my favorite astro-philosopher, Flex, deep dives into it in this video:
🐚 how can i desire that which i fear?
well, for me, my desires have always motivated more than my fears have crippled me. it is really hard to deny myself the things i really want. i’ve always been on that kendrick lamar “man at the garden frequency” of I DESERVE IT ALL. and even when the things i really want take some extra effort or hard work or sacrifices, i have evidence (proof from living!) that i will show up and see it through. despite whatever self-sabotage-ing tendencies pop up along the way, i do be ❤️🔥relentless❤️🔥 and ‼️persistent‼️.
which brings me to another self-realization:
i have such an all or nothing mentality. and i can’t continue moving through the world this way.
like i said before, because i have strong morals + values and feel strongly about certain things, it’s hard not to “throw all my eggs in one basket” as the saying goes. or in my case, throw all the eggs and the basket away!
i’ll give an example, a personal case study if you will:
Just 1 and 2 substack essay reflections ago, i said i was off of IG and might not be returning to IG for the foreseeable future. in fact, i’ve been toying with the idea of logging into my account for a day in the coming weeks just to tell everyone that i would be deactivating that account, and they should follow/subscribe to me on substack to stay connected.
as of this early afternoon, i have changed my mind. after a much-needed, grounding, and insightful meeting with other writers + creative agents at typewriter poetry agency i work at, i am singing a different tune. seeing a different light. it really is all about the angles and the time of day (photo/videography nerds will get this dry ahh dad joke :P)
the point isss, i am seeing the importance —the necessity— of striking a balance.
i can have my feelings about these platforms and how they are often in direct conflict at least and detriment at worst to my values, overall mental + spiritual health and and and, ANDDDD i can devise a plan to help me cultivate a healthier (as much as possible) relationship to the platforms i already have WHILE i build community on new platforms too.
my immediate reaction to overstimulation + overwhelm is to disconnect / dissociate / go ghost. i am more aware of that now more than ever. and in that awareness, i can work on giving myself the space i need for a “time-out”2.
🌀 what it looks like to shape that which naturally shifts
as i shape this daily-ish dispatch3, i’m understanding better what processing the process is. i know i had a whole introduction essay about it, but the beautiful thing about artistic projects (or projects of any kind) is that they reveal their nature to you.
right before the end of last year (2024), i did an annual profection year reading with Flex, and she explained that you can cast a birth chart for literally anything. she talks about this a lot, generally, if you follow her on socials — in the video i linked above she talks a little bit about australia’s birth chart.
SOOOO, when i cast a birth chart for processing the process, starting on the exact date + time i hit publish on the first article, this series is giving:
from my nascent, astro bb understanding + research:
this Libra Moon + Rising energy makes sense because the name of the series itself is giving lotsss of cardinal air energy. every new reflection is a NU reflection, is a NU thing. i have a feeling the structure of this series is going to look sooo different 30 days from now and even more so 60 days from now. which is exciting and makes me want to stay committed so i can analyze the changes a month - 6 months - a year from now!
it’s also very alluring energy because Venus rules Libra. it’s giving you want to tap in and read what i have to say soo bad. love thatttt. also starting this on the first day of Aquarius season, is just so fitting. Aquarius the humanitarian, innovator, thinking-different-er. UGH, love. whole lot of air energy but this mercury in capricorn is illuminating: giving direct, practical, communication. love this for ussss. and omg there’s a Cardinal Grand Cross in this chart tooo???! which google is telling me means:
“Grand cardinal cross: Deals with power abuses and leadership, and calls for balance and justice” — synchronizes well with processing the process being birthed a day after the banning/unbanning of tiktok; conversations about decentralized social media platforms are abound; the future of the country, and consequently the world we live in the talk all over… yeah i dont wanna hear from nobody that astrology is not real. this is a literal science wtf.
“People with a grand cross in their birth chart may experience extreme tension and indecisiveness” —this is so funny because the whole first half of this reflection is about indecisiveness + my rapidly changing feelings with things in general, but currently my indecision with how i plan to be using social media at large. and what did i say about tension? yeah, control z that word in this reflection, then come back so we can chat. this is blowing my minddd!
“They may also experience spectacular successes and equally stunning failures”. — at first i read this and i was like “oh no failures” but then the Libra Moon in me to the Libra Moon in processing the process was like, but at least the failures will be 😍stunning😍.
like i said before, i am motivated more by my desires than fears. so any failures that come out of this process will of course be stunning because i’m literally doing a daily ritual of personal-public reflection. stunning failures are inevitable, and so, too are ✨spectacular successes✨. yeahhh yeahhh clock it unh hunh yeahhh.
also gonna close out the astro talk by calling your attention to that Pisces Venus in the 5th HOUSE ?!!! that’s such a sexy placement because the 5th house is “the House of Pleasure, and it governs creativity, romance, and joy. It can also reflect how someone expresses themselves, their attitude towards love, and their ability to find pleasure in life.”
Venus is exalted (yk held in high regard, loves it there, etc etc) in Pisces, so this is exciting for meeee. i’m gonna take some more time to read into this chart, but if you’re a fellow astro-bb or astro-sensei, please tap in with your insights. would love love love to understand better how to read processing the process’s chart and how to work with it/ things to pay attention too, etc.
🌬️ okieee
this was saurrr fun! and if you noticed, this is the first post in the series that’s not dropping in your inbox at like 11pm (ya gurl is really tryna get this morning + night routine in check!).
if you understood none of the astro-speak. i so sorry, please get curious because this is merely the first of many posts that will reference astrology in this way. and until thennnn…
stay cosmically 😍stunning😍 + ✨spectacular✨!
xo,
nu🧚🏿♀️
writing time: 1:55pm - 3:08pm
editing time: 4:18pm - 5:08pm
Simulacra philosophy is a theory that suggests that modern society has replaced reality with symbols and signs, creating a simulated reality. This theory is most closely associated with the work of French philosopher Jean Baudrillard, who wrote Simulacra and Simulation in 1981. (sourced from Wiki + Google summary)
i hate how “time-outs” are so punitive, at least they were in my experience as a child. is there a gentle parenting term for “time-outs”? maybe something like “time-to-check-in” or “check-in-time”.
i’m letting myself miss 2 days a week if needed because i want this series to be a playful exercise + experiment while also calling me into a necessary daily practice of writing, reflecting, sharing. #seriousplayinnit
I love many things about this, including the lingo, but one of the most unique and exciting tidbits I noticed was that at the end you note how long you spent writing and editing!!! So cool that you’re documenting the labor that goes into to this love
I obviously loved the astrology insight on your project! I also love the grace and the positive reframing of habits that people typically deem as negative, unhelpful, etc. There's always a flip side and balance forever remains key.